Here to Stay by Mark Edwards

"He winked at me and said, "Welcome to the family, mate."

And then he laughed, like he'd cracked a joke I didn't understand". 

"All I needed was a plan. Surely I could come up with one. All my life I'd been told I was clever. A problem-solver.

But every time I tried to solve this problem, all I could see was myself being sucked into that chute, down and down towards the bottom. A one-way journey with no end and no escape".

Here to Stay by Mark Edwards is a twisted domestic noir/psychological thriller, that might make you re-think your kind invitation to in-laws to stay over.

Elliot is a 38-year-old scientist, who lives on his own in a beautiful house in a sought-after location. He enjoys his job, but something is missing from his life. His parents died many years ago in an air balloon accident, he has no siblings, and not so many friends either. He appears lonely, shy and lacking self-confidence, despite his work credentials and TV appearances.

One evening, when he opened his garden to public viewing, a young woman called Gemma wanders in, and saves his life, when he's bitten by a bee and suffers from an anaphylactic shock. In the hospital Elliot has an epiphany, "No more wasting time. No more wasting life. From now on, I was going to be impetuous and brave. Willing to take risks".

Theirs is a whirlwind romance, and in two months they are married.  "Two months passed at lightning pace, like one of those speeded-up films of flowers blooming".

Elliot is in love with Gemma, and life is beautiful.

Up to the point when Gemma says her parents and sister are arriving from France and have nowhere to stay until they find a place to rent or buy. Naive Elliot suggests that they stay over in his house until they find their own place. Big mistake.

What was supposed to be a couple of weeks turns into a never-ending nightmare. The parasitic Robinsons are way too comfortable in the house and make Elliot feel like he's the unwanted guest in his own house. The situation escalates. The mother of the family claims she's allergic to cats, and locks out Charlie, Elliot's cat. The in-laws buy a new bed for themselves, claiming the bed where they sleep is not comfy, they order paints to re-decorate the house. And, and, and, they don't bother with flushing the toilet. Now that's truly grim.

The younger daughter Chloe suffers from some mysterious illness, and is locked in her room. She refuses to speak or leave her bedroom.

The Robinsons are the family of parasites who survive by attaching themselves to the others and sucking their blood. "A family of survivors. It was what they did, whatever the world threw at them. They had been doing this for years. And they would survive again".

So far, so very Mumsnet, AIBU to resent my detestable in-laws who have taken over my house? Almost like a bad joke.

Until the tragedy strikes, and Elliot's next door neighbours, an elderly couple, are butchered at home.

Elliot might be a scientist, but he's not that intelligent when it comes to social situations, reading the psychological clues or taking rational steps. He describes himself as a buttoned-up, reserved Englishman, Mister Science. 

He was in his twenties when his parents died. His therapist tells him he hasn't been "given the chance to leave the nest in a normal, natural way. Part of you is still stuck there, the therapist said. Unable to grow up". Which doesn't quite explain his infantilism, after all, Elliot wasn't exactly a young child, when the tragedy happened. Though, of course, some men never grow up.

Elliot knows that something has happened in France, when the Robinsons decided to flee to the UK. He doesn't seem to comprehend how Google translate works, or something similar. When he needs a translation from French, he asks his colleague to help, rather than do his own work. And it's so easy these days to search anything online.

Gemma's behaviour is fishy, she clearly knows a lot of things about her family that she keeps schtum about.

"I didn't really know her. I didn't know her family. I had invited a bunch of strangers into my home. I was gripped by a sensation of dread - of cold, vertiginous regret. What had I done? What the hell -"

The Robinsons make it clear to Elliot that they have no intention of moving out of his home. Trying to save his home and marriage, Elliot starts to dig into the Robinsons' past.

Is he ready for the perturbing truth?

I've read my share of domestic noir/psychological thrillers with convoluted plots and far-fetched characters, but Here to Stay is in the league of its own. This urban nightmare is fast-paced and quite creepy.

I couldn't relate or find sympathy for any character, including the victimised main protagonist Elliot. Even the cat Charlie is a traitor.

The police in both the UK and France seem to be totally incompetent.

I disliked the final solution to the problem. It just didn't make much sense.

As I have at least four paperbacks by the same author, I hope this book doesn't reflect his usual style. Perhaps I should have started with a different book by the author, who is very popular and has written many best sellers. Mark Edwards has sold over two million books, and has topped the bestseller lists several times. 

What book by Mark Edwards would you recommend for me to read next?

In case you're curious to give it a go, Here to Stay is free on Amazon Prime Reading.