"I suppose you'd like to know how I'm doing. I feel fit, I still have energy, I still have resolve. I have a feeling I'll be seeing you soon though, maybe you'll come to me as my eyesight is failing, or when my breathing becomes laboured. Maybe you'll just appear one day in my palm as a butterfly. "
The Winter Song by Saurav Dutt is a story of loss and grief, love and forgiveness. It is a moving and deep tale of self-discovery.
The narrative is slow-moving and unhurried. We follow the main protagonist, John Perera, as he sets off on a long journey. Just three days before John's wife Asima died of cancer, she asked him, "If you love me, John, then why don't you do something grand, something beautiful, something that proves it?"
It is a challenging request. "He would walk from their home in Simla, through the unfolding trails of pine, deodar, and oak forest, across the muttering expanse of imposing Himalayan peaks, through the villages and forests. For miles and miles, until he came to the Buddhist temple in Spiti that his wife came to when she prayed for a wonderful husband..."
And thus John sets off on a spiritual journey, travelling on foot, and using this time of solitude to reflect on his past, his family and relationships with both his late wife and son. He walks in the biting chill, exhausted physically and mentally. En route John meets people, who help him re-evaluate his own life, understand his shortcomings and missed opportunities, and ulitmately "feel safe in the embrace of the present".
He also comes to re-assess his difficult relationship with their only son, who was a drug addict. When Jimmy died, John didn't allow himself to grieve properly, shutting all his feelings away, because his son was the greatest disappointment of their lives. He died a lonely death, having falled off a cliff while being high on drugs. How do you come to terms with a death of your child, especially in such circumstances?!
This journey is not just about the promise he made to Asima, but also about uncovering the truth behind the dark death of their son.
As he explains to his friend and colleague at school where he works, "I told her I would walk from our home to there to prove how much I love her. Because I never said it enough while she was alive".
John's regret of not saying often enough how much he loved his wife while she was still alive would resonate with many of us. Looking back at the family members and dear friends whom we lost, how often did we tell them how much they meant to us?! That guilt never really goes away.
The writing is poetic and elegant, evocative of the landscapes of the Himalayan countryside, with its scents and colours. "A shimmering wind carried the heat and dust to their faces, perfuming the distance between them with the luscious scent of cardamom, rose, and tightly ground cumin".
The narrative moves from the present to the past, via long-forgotten memories, which resurface during the journey.
Will John reach his destination? Will he find the answers he seeks?
The Winter Song portrays the dynamics of family love and loss. It is an elegiac tale of grief, sadness but also hope.
This post if part of the blog tour for The Winter Song. Many thanks to Saurav Dutt and Rachel's Random Resources for my copy of the book!
Purchase Links
UK - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Winter-Song-Saurav-Dutt-ebook/dp/B08NFD2ZNS
US - https://www.amazon.com/Winter-Song-Saurav-Dutt-ebook/dp/B08NFD2ZNS
Author Bio –
Saurav Dutt is an Author, Political Columnist and Human Rights Campaigner. A journalist in three continents, his acclaimed debut novel 'The Butterfly Room' explored issues of domestic violence and homophobia within South Asian communities and has been showcased alongside leading political figures and human rights campaigners. His work for human rights and charity campaign work has taken Dutt to speaking engagements at the WEF, IKWRO, IWN, Houses of Parliament and TEDx. After exploring the issue of psychological abuse and domestic violence in 'There Is A Light That Never Goes Out' Dutt was commissioned by a major Hollywood production house to pen the official novelization of the major motion picture 'Tiger' (starring Golden Globe winning and Academy Award nominated actor Mickey Rourke) and he commemorated the centenary of the infamous Amritsar Massacre in India with 'Garden of Bullets: Massacre at Jallianwala Bagh' which was featured in TIME magazine. TIGER is the biographical account of Parminder Singh Nagra, a trailblazing Sikh boxer who fought successfully for the right to compete in the ring with his beard, an essential part of his faith. A syndicated political columnist, Dutt writes for the International Business Times, The Times of Israel, Human Events, and American Herald Tribune. He has featured on CNN, GQ, Huffington Post, Business Insider, BBC television and radio, RT (Russia Today), Press TV, Sky News, and more. He has been shortlisted several times for the Asian Achievers Awards and Asian Me
dia Awards. He resides in the United Kingdom, Los Angeles, and India.
Social Media Links – @sd_saurav on Twitter
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